The Posture of a Father - Part One

I'd like to take a semi-departure from the more intimate and personal thoughts concerning the birth of my daughter and focus a bit more generally on the existential struggles we all deal with daily.  Family is an essential component of human culture.  No matter the worldview espoused, location thoughout the world or socioeconomic status it is undeniable that family is at the nucleus of a culture.  From obvious to more subtle, the reasons for the central importance family plays.  Until more recent technological procedures, family was the lone source of the continuation of the species.  Family will impact and influence intellectual and emotional strengths and weaknesses of all members of a given society.  Currently, Vancouver is a gathering place for athletes from around the globe.  One of the points of similarity between all competitors is the presence of family for support.  We hear from all segments at times of thanksgiving or acceptance of awards the gratitude given to parents or siblings that have been a source of inspiration.

Paternal roles and responsibilities are constantly of keen interest to me as the above observations at least give a sense of the importance of family and the influence imposed by family members upon one another.  Fathers are represented in the news, in television, in movies, in music and in many other visible areans on a daily basis.  Oftentimes the portrayal of the father in such outlets is best described as detestible.  For good reason vitriolic castigation is routinely disbursed to commentators and those who opine on the behavior of "deadbeat dads", adulterous husbands, abusive fathers and those who show more interest in sports or work than their spouse or children.

I'm not going to attempt an analysis of the causal agents responsible for such behavior, the avenues to escape such a lifestyle, nor the attributes necessary for more acceptible actions.  My concern for some time has been both why there need to be good fathers and what makes a good father which has turned out to be more of a journey than first anticipated.  Why we feel fathers ought to be good is a pretty involved issue.  On an atheistic, naturalistic, materialistic worldview there's really no reason for there to be an expectation of what would be routinely viewed as a healthy paternal role in the family unit.  A man chooses to come together with a woman (in marriage in some cases due only to societal norms and choice) experiences the pleasure of initmacy and successfully passes on genetic information.  His obligatory functions are hereby completed.  One could possibly argue that he should continue involvement to provide shelter and care enough to ensure his progeny will be able to procreate, but not necessarily.  This description of a fathers role, although consistant with worldviews that see evolution and natural selection as the single driving force of existence, it is certainly not an acceptible explanation for the undeniable view that crosses cultural boundaries that fathers should be good.  Likewise, the makeup of a father that all cultures would see as good cannot be supported by a nontheistic position propounding personal choice as the single determining factor for good and bad.

And here we have the existential struggle for our day.  We know that fathers should love their wives, care for their children, not abandon, neglect or abuse any member of their household; but why is this so?  What reason can be given for this universal understanding?  It cannot be personal choice, or a matter of majority rule; a democratic constitution for paternal behavior.  This will not do; I choose to love my family another father does not, this is not binding on a culture.  We have a multitude of laws on the books designed to severly punish perpetrators of this kind of activity and occurances are on the increase, so majority decisions or enforcement of current laws cannot be called on to answer this query.  Likewise, tradition is not adequate.  Family life a generation or two ago (Little House on the Prarie, The Waltons, Leave It To Beaver, Andy Griffith and the like) are looked upon with derision and laughter today as a bi-gone age completely out of touch with today's progressive attitude.  In fact, the full brunt of vitriolic venom is unleashed on anyone who is tagged to hold "traditional values" on any topic whatever.  No, tradition was a good enough reason a generation ago, but we technology has allowed us to move past this archaic notion.

What then is the answer to our problem?  To what or whom can we turn to provide some sort of concrete rule, law, or precept that goes beyond personal choice, beyond majority rule or democratic procedure, beyond technological advances and ancient traditions?  Where are we to look for the picture of a father that we can apply to all families everywhere with confidence, a father-figure that will provide the model for fathers we know we want but cannot explain?  Where indeed?